My daughter Lyla Hollis once wanted to be a nurse.
Not because she lay awake at night dreaming about IVs and night shifts. Not because it was her calling. But because her dad was a doctor, and she'd grown up surrounded by scrubs and stethoscopes and stories from the OR.
It made sense on paper. It checked all the boxes. It felt safe.
And it was completely wrong for her.
Here's the thing nobody tells you when you're staring down your major declaration form: the career path that looks perfect from the outside can feel suffocating when you're actually living it. And the scariest part? You might not realize it until you're already a few years in.
When the Professor Said Something She Couldn't Unhear
Lyla got INTO nursing school. She was doing everything right. Checking off prerequisites, making the grades, following the plan.
Then her professor said something that stopped her cold: "You have to learn not to take patient traumas home with you."
For some people, that's just good professional advice. For Lyla, it was a red flag the size of Texas. She knew herself well enough to realize that she'd carry the weight of patient care home every single night. And that wasn't a sustainable way for her to live.
This is the trap so many students fall into. You look at your parents' career, or your older siblings', or that family friend who "made it," and you think, "That could work for me."
You're not being lazy or unimaginative. You're doing what humans do: looking for a blueprint that's already proven successful.
But the reality is someone else's perfect career fit can be your personal nightmare.
The real work of choosing a career isn't about following a path. It's about figuring out who you actually are before you commit years of your life and tens of thousands of dollars to a direction that doesn't align with who you are.
Not who your parents are. Not who you think you should be. Who you actually are.
The Day She Decided to Drop Out of Nursing School
When Lyla decided to leave nursing school, I'll be honest: I was terrified.
Not because I thought she was making a mistake. But because I'm a mom, and moms worry. What if she never went back to school? What if this derailed everything? What if, what if, what if?
But I also knew something crucial: sometimes the bravest thing you can do is hit pause.
So Lyla took a gap year. And not just any gap year. She moved to Costa Rica to volunteer in permaculture at Surf Synergy, a health and wellness resort run by our family friends.
There she spent eight hours a day in the hot sun, building gardens from literal gravel. Making organic soil from scratch. Learning how ecosystems actually work. Getting her hands dirty in ways that had nothing to do with medicine and everything to do with connection: to the land, to the work, to herself.
She wasn't running away from her future. She was running toward clarity.
What She Found in the Dirt
That gap year taught her (and me) something important: when you're feeling lost or stuck on a path that doesn't quite fit, sometimes the smartest move isn't to push harder. It's about stepping back and giving yourself space to figure out who you are, what you value, and how you want to live your life.
Not what sounds impressive. Not what pays the most. Not what your guidance counselor, your parents, or society thinks you should do.
What actually lights you up.
For Lyla, it turned out to be sustainability and environmental justice. She returned from Costa Rica knowing she wanted to be an environmental steward, even though she had no idea what that career path would look like.
And that's okay. Because clarity doesn't come from having all the answers. It comes from having the courage to explore.
This is exactly the kind of self-reflection work I do with my students and clients. It's not about handing you a job title or major and calling it done. It's about helping you understand your values and aptitudes, and what you actually need from work to feel fulfilled. Because once you have that clarity, the path forward gets a whole lot clearer.
Three Internships and an Unconventional Degree
After her gap year, Lyla made another unconventional choice: she enrolled in an online degree program through Purdue Global.
Cue the collective gasp from everyone who thinks online education is where academic dreams go to die.
But here's what actually happened: going online freed Lyla up to stack real-world experience while earning her degree.
She joined AmeriCorps as a conservation coordinator at the Grand Traverse Regional Land Conservancy in Northern Michigan. This wasn't some coffee-fetching internship. She was leading volunteer work groups, doing invasive species removal, growing native pollinators from seed, and maintaining trails. She was DOING the work, not just reading about it in a textbook.
And here's the beautiful part: every paper she had to write for class, she could write about something she was actually doing in her real life. She researched native pollinator species while literally planting them in the field. She studied environmental policy while attending public hearings about solar installations.
The education wasn't theoretical. It was applied. It was alive.
By the time Lyla graduated, she had three meaningful internships under her belt.
The Job Offer That Came Before Graduation
And you know what happened?
She landed her dream job before she even finished her degree.
Not because she had a 4.0 (which she did). Not because she went to a prestigious university. But because she had something employers actually value: relevant, hands-on experience doing the work.
Her boss literally told her later, "We hired you because you had organizing experience. That's not something you learn in a classroom."
Employers are looking for experience over credentials. I'm not saying skip college. Education matters. But in today's competitive hiring environment, education is table stakes. To differentiate yourself, you need to have lived experience. Which can be hard to come by as a student.
AmeriCorps: The Career Hack Hiding in Plain Sight
Can we talk about AmeriCorps for a second? Because I had never heard of it before Lyla stumbled into it, and I'm guessing a lot of you haven't either.
Here's the deal: AmeriCorps is a federally funded service program. You commit to serving your community for a term (usually a year), and in exchange, you get experience, connections, and an education award you can use toward school or student loans.
The pay isn't great. You're basically taking a stipend, not a salary. But here's what you GET:
- A foot in the door at organizations that frequently hire their AmeriCorps members full-time. (Lyla's host site? 50% of their full-time staff are former AmeriCorps members.)
- Real, substantial work experience in your field. Not grunt work. Actual projects.
- A network of people across the country who understand the value of service and will go to bat for you when you're job hunting.
- The chance to test-drive a career path without committing to grad school or a full-time job.
For Lyla, AmeriCorps was the bridge between "I think I want to work in sustainability" and "I am actively building a career in clean energy."
If you're feeling stuck or unsure, look into service programs like AmeriCorps Alums. They have opportunities for almost any career path. They're strategic career networking moves disguised as community service.
Three Years Later, She Doesn't Regret a Thing
And now? Lyla's a clean-energy specialist at the Groundwork Center for Resilient Communities, writing op-eds, attending public hearings on solar policy, and organizing communities around environmental justice. She's using her voice in ways she never imagined when she was building gardens in Costa Rica.
The work evolved. She evolved. And she gave herself permission to follow that evolution instead of forcing herself to stay in a box that no longer fit.
You don't have to have it all figured out at 20. Or 25. Or honestly, ever.
What you DO have to do is pay attention to which activities light you up and which drain you. To what feels aligned and what feels like you're wearing someone else's shoes.
And when something stops fitting? You change it. Not because you failed. But because you grew.
What This Taught Me as a Parent (and Career Coach)
If you're reading this and feeling that nagging sense of "this doesn't feel right" about your major, your internship, your career path, here's what I want you to know: That feeling isn't weakness. It's not you being flaky or indecisive. It's your internal compass trying to tell you something important.
Give yourself permission to explore. Do the self-reflection work before you commit years and dollars to a path that doesn't fit.
Spend some time reflecting on your life goals. Maybe work with a career coach. Consider a gap year if you need it. Try AmeriCorps or a similar service organization. Get an internship in a field that interests you, even if it's not what you're studying. Test drive different career paths through informational interviews and shadowing.
Lyla's path wasn't linear. It wasn't what I expected. But nothing in the world makes a parent happier than seeing their child thrive in a career that they are passionate about and excel at.
To hear Lyla's full journey, including the moment she knew nursing wasn't for her and how she navigated those tough conversations, check out her podcast interview "Nursing to Clean Energy: My Gap Year Story."
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And if this experience resonated with you, share it with a friend who's feeling stuck. If you're ready to get clarity on what your path could look like, check out my free Career Compass guide. It's designed to help you explore next steps so you can stop following someone else's blueprint and start building your own.
Your career should fit you like your favorite pair of jeans, not like your dad's hand-me-down loafers.
â If youâre feeling a little career curious yourself, you might also like the conversations happening on the getCAREERcurious podcast. We feature people walking their own purpose-filled pathsâmessy, honest, and inspiring. Come listen if you feel called: YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts.
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